Lunes, Agosto 22, 2011

A Slow Recovery

Now that I've sorta recovered from my fever, I'm actually feeling a little perky. On a Monday, no less. So let me start with an inspirational tale. Prior to sitting down here at some gas station where I used to drink every morning back in late-2004, I went to the bathroom. I needed to splash some water on my face to wake me up, when there was a guy on crutches brushing his teeth on the only working sink. I waited patiently, or as patiently as someone like me could, but the guy was just absolutely anal about the process. He brushed his teeth twice, and gargled three times, twice with mouthwash, and once with water. In the middle of all of this, I couldn't help but be, shall we say, expressive about my dismay, shooting him tired looks, checking my non-existent wrist watch, you know the whole asshole play.

The guy noticed, and while it did seem that he needed another three or four brushings, he smiled politely and let me use the use for the entire seven seconds that I needed it. Now, before anyone goes off how impolite that was on my part towards the handicapped, let me point out a couple of things. One, the motherfucker's arms were twice as big as mine, so it was safe to assume that he was well within capability when it comes to kicking my ass. (Without the actual kicking, of course.) Secondly, if I was disabled, there's nothing I'd want more than to be treated just like everyone else. I'd rather get treated "rudely" than to be tolerated due to whatever handicap I may have had. I kinda think made his day.

On that note, with energy drink and half a pack of cigs in hand, on to blogging I go.

The Disappointing Start. I've always taken pride in being able to start the week right on certain occasions. Good or even great weekends are rather easy, but legendary Mondays? I'm only able to pull that shit off on a less than semi-regular basis. Last Monday was yet another failed attempt.

After a day at the Think Tank, cut short by the onset of my fever, I went once again with the Big Man to start the work week at his project. But the rain fell, hard, and the traffic blew as hard the wind, so there was no other alternative but to cancel work and do one of the many things we do best, which is to have tremendous amounts of fun at the expense of the Bg Man's bank account and my physical and mental health.

So, we hit another strip club. We decided to go to the dingiest, most dubious looking hole in the wall that we can find, and boy did we find one. It was so bad, that… well, it so bad that we ended up going to the lesser shitty one instead. (We were up for something crazy, but not one that was downright insane and suicidal. Seriously, that place looked like the thieves' nest from Agrabah.)

We sat down and had drinks for the entire duration of 30 minutes. That's right, true deceivers, 30 fucking minutes.

Then it was off to the Big Man's place for more drinks and hopefully a more pleasant night's end. However, it was not to be, as the Big Man's mother requested a pick up, and my fever then hit its stride, rendering me unconscious.

While the Monday night mayhem didn't take place the way it usually did from days of old, the point is, every opportunity that I get, you better believe I'm always going to keep on trying. It's just a little sad, really, cause I woke up that morning feeling like P. Diddy. (Yeah, I did that whole section so I could use that damn joke. Fuck you.)

The Quiet Middle. The middle of the week was quite slow, though there were moments of serendipity that I could not ignore. After I have gone through with the first phase of my latest obsession, I had another chance meeting with the girl, this time it was lengthy enough for pizza, pasta and ice cream. It was nice, and since I was already pumped for taking that first step to my latest project (which left me broke) I happily dragged my feverish ass home to Cavite.

As I reported a few weeks back, i was asked by the mother to come back home to liv a her old house with my brother as she moved into her new home (conveniently located within the same village). I had more than a little amount of hesitation about that, as I have also expressed. But, spending the day with the family, (the whole lot of them actually, as there was some reunion thingy) I was actually convinced that yes, this might be a good move for me.

Then someone dropped the ball by casually mentioning the family's awareness of my previous and semi-recurring suicidal tendencies. Now, this is a issue that they may have read off my old blog, however, I have serious doubts about that. My guess is that someone read the old blog, thought it would be cool to discuss it with the family, and now I'm being asked to come back so people would "watch over" yours truly. All of this, of course, was clearly presented to me in a manner that I would accept. And now, I'm even more hesitant for a homecoming.

First off, if there was someone out there who it upon him, her, or themselves to talk to anyone in my family about my problems, let me clarify one thing. It does not make you a good person. it does not make you, at least in my eyes, a concerned party. It just makes you someone who's way too ignorant to realize what it is that I actually need. You did not help, you just caused a wider gap, vast as it already is, between me and my relatives. It was a self-indulgent, arrogant move. You do not know what's best for me, and most likely you do not know what's best for you, and compensating at the expense of how I live my life is not cool. I don't know who you are, and apparently, you have no clue about who I am, because anyone who's paid attention knows that I have my ways and I'm pretty set on them, regardless of how much it's ill-advised or unconventional. I know what works for me, and I hope that you choke on an elephant's cock. I'm pretty sure you're my friend, and yes, I do love you, but my friend, that was the wrong move.

Now, if this was something that they, the relatives, discovered upon themselves, I do hope they know that I can handle this on my own. If I need help, I will ask. I've done so from time to time, and I will do so again. No need to worry, and no need to bring me back into the fold and coddle me. I've lived on my own for far too long a time for anyone to worry.

With that out of the way, the dull but slightly entertaining rendezvous with the blood relatives did present an interesting option: I got offered a job to help make movies. in Africa. Yes, in freaking Africa.

Surprisingly enough, I'm actually considering it, especially if it would allow me to avoid any more unwelcome grilling and questions regarding my personal life.

The Incredible End. The week ended with me at home curdled up in a ball due to my fever reaching levels that I did not expect it would. But, at least I had an interesting Friday night to make up for the work another activities I missed during the weekend. The fever was inevitable anyways, it's been going on for two weeks now. Whether I went out and had fun was irrelevant.

So, Friday night was a night wherein the BIg Man and I ended another work week (though due to my prevailing illness I didn't really do as much work) to another trip to the bar that served awesome beer towers. The result? A lengthy discussion about the BIg Man's position and responsibilities as leader, me throwing up the most mount of vomit I've ever thrown up in my entire life (You had to be there, I was like a fountain of gushing. It was incredible.) and me waking up with the grandmother of all hangovers and a fever that came back with a vengeance.

So yeah, the week had a slow beginning, a slow middle, and eded rather slowly, but there are a lot of possibilities there and a few laughs thrown in. It's wasn't as bad as expected I guess.

I'm looking forward to seeing where those newly cleared paths lead me.

"I saw my friend the other day and I don't know

Exactly just what he became
It goes to show
It wasn't long ago
I was just like you
And now I think I'm sick and I wanna go home

How have I been,how have you been
It's been so long
What have you done with all your time
And what went wrong

I knew you back when
And you ... you knew me
And now I think I'm sick and I wanna go home" - Green Day, "Emenius Sleepus"

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