Since I've started writing about my weekly adventures here on this website, I've mentioned several times that I have been more detached from the world around me as I ever was. This past week, after having a really shitty weekend, I decided to indulge that detachment by cutting myself off from the rest of the world. Didn't turn out exactly as planned, but it did give me ample time to think about certain aspects in my life that I may not be able to focus on had I followed my traditionally hectic day to day tendencies.
I've come down from the utter wrathfulness of last week's post, since I've had a few pleasant surprises , no unexpected visits and a mighty fine Saturday night. Plus, I come to you a tad more enlightened as I have been a week earlier. All that free time left me with no other options but to seek enlightenment.
Celebrity Crushes. I engaged in a little midweek drinking with an officemate who apparently needed a break from something that was staggering her senses. We didn't get shitfaced, cause I had to go to work, but a causal bottle over nice conversation was a good way to reduce the boredom, especially when it's with someone who has a "problem" similar to mine.
It's a bit weird for most people, but her problem, like I said was similar to mine. Apparently, she has a crippling crush on a celebrity from some reality TV show. It was so bad that it kinda affects her life in more ways than one. Hell, I can relate. I'm the guy who watched two entire seasons of The Office non-stop because of the lovely Ellie Kemper, so I feel her pain.
All in all, it's always refreshing to be out with people I work with. Makes more comfy going to the Think Tank on a daily basis.
Moonlit Nights. After that pleasant evening I went back to work, because money's tight and rent's sorta expensive. (I say sorta because rent is mostly based on perception. The actual effect of rent on my personal finances depend highly on how much money I actually have. Some months, it's chump change, others it's an insurmountable amount to make, the equivalent of a fazillion gajillion pistes.)
I worked all night, I did. Me and another member of the Think Tank tried our best to make do with the time we had to do a smooch as we can.
The full moon was up on one night, and I spent a good portion of the night just staring at it. Looking at how beautiful the Southern skyline is under the moon made me appreciate where I am at this point in my life. While it's true, my current situation has a long ways to go from becoming ideal, I can't help but feel at home, not just at the office, but the general circles I roll in these days. Frankly, I've never felt comfortable anywhere since graduating college, and I've spent many nights watching the moon wondering where I fit in.
On that night last week, i didn't have to wonder much.
Newborn Babies. Friday, after another all nighter at the office, I went to Cavite. On that day, the BIg Man's wife gave birth, and I decided I should be there if ever I could be of use. Plus, hospitals tend to have a special, albeit unpleasant place in my heart.And while I didn't harbor any delusions of my presence creating that big of an impact, I did spend some time in the ICU, and i know how company can be greatly appreciated in those places.
The Big Man and I spent a lot of time tackling about the past, particularly his previous stints as the official bedside companion to a number of sick relatives. (I never did quite figure out why someone with his lack of bedside manner and patience was always the one chosen to fulfill this particular task repeatedly.) It was a nice, quiet, rather self indulgent Friday. (We ate voraciously.) The Critic and the Human Torch even showed up for a bit, each adding his unique dimension to the experience. I left Saturday morning, feeling quite happy for the couple, and wondering how this would impact the lives of everyone involved. And I do mean everyone.
Highschool Moments. When I was at the hospital, I was asked by the Critic as to when I'd be back, and I didn't give a solid answer. All I said was, if I got a better invite, I'd most likely show up for that engagement. I did get an invite the moment I got home, though it wasn't necessarily better. But I resolved to visit some aspect of y past once a week, I thought what better way to end a quiet weekend with a bunch of noisy Cavite people. Yup, I attended another drinking session with my high school classmates.
As always it was classic, especially since one of the guys there started kissing other guys and I had to talk people down in order to avoid a fight. What I like about hanging out with these people is that they're basically strangers to me. I never spoke much with them back in high school, and they view me, I think, the same way they did back then; rather vaguely. They weren't around for all of the things that have happened since we turned our tassels to the other side of the cap back in '98, so I'd like to think that with them, I pretty much have a clean slate.
Plus, the entire group has a heightened sense of self-importance (not necessarily a bad thing, and something I've definitely been used to from a lot of the people I've met in my numerous exploits) that mostly they talk about themselves in a manner that simply dismisses any other possibility of greatness in things and people not involved with them. This allows me to not talk about themselves, so I once again have people that I can merely drink with and not have an intimate relationship with. They can continue glossing over their lives, and I get people that I can text whenever I need to get my drink on. Perfect.
Oh, and I've found a new muse. What can I say? The phrase "giddy as a highshool teenage boy" has never rang truer.
Future Plans. As I've said earlier, I'm a tad more enlightened. Not completely but a tad more. I still haven't decided to accept my mother's offer, but there is an apartment available right beside the Critic's pad that seems like an appealing compromise. (Get your resignation letters ready, boys, you're gonna need when I roll back into town.) I've got six months before I turn 30, and I have three courses of action that I'm seriously deliberating. I've got a couple of other things going, and I've even managed to resolve a few emotional issues along the way. As I mentioned last week, I've dismissed the option of therapy. I like being a little broken. It makes me me. And a return to comedy is underway.
Wish me luck. Or not. No big.
"The interstates and eighteen wheelersThe sketches on the rest stop bathoom stalls
I call her from a hotel pay phone so far from it all
The odometer is hypnotizing
The tires turn the dirt for miles and miles
I wanna see the Nashville skyline
If only for awhile
Cause I heard about the party last night
I heard that there were drugs and fist fights
When all I see are miles of streetlights
That's when I miss home
So I try to forget but I die inside every time I miss it
Cause you're still three shy
Don't you forget it's not a party when we're gone
And if the cops come by
have a drink and tell them this one's for the boys
And I will try to forget that I'm gone" - The Pink Spiders, "Still Three Shy"