Lunes, Agosto 6, 2012

Brick by Brick

I actually thought that this was going to be a rant-free post, but there seems to be no shortage of annoying things people tend to do consistently. For this post, I'm going to complain about how people seem to be incapable of valuing other people's time.

A couple of weeks ago, I got a phone call from a high school friend inviting me to go to her kid's first birthday party. That was fine with me, had it not been for two important details. The party was to occur the following day and she lives in some far flung section of the north, thereby attendance to said party would take up the majority of the day. Seriously? She calls a day before? What did she think I was doing in my spare time? Sitting at hem with my thumb up my ass waiting for any invite? Inviting someone to a party that's far away the day before the said event, to me, means only one of two things: Either you think your event is so significance that it eclipses everything else that's on my schedule, or you didn't want me to show up in the first place and you gave me a polite invite. Either way, it's not cool. 

I hate shit like that. I hate it when people start conversations through text messaging then would take forever to reply because they are too busy. (Why start the fucking conversation in the first place?) I hate it when people show up in my house unannounced, expecting I have nothing better to do than entertain their rude asses. (If I'm at home alone, it's because I want to be home alone. Don't show up without notifying me in advance, cause unless you have a better offer than the prospect of me sitting around watching shit on a rare day off, I'm going to make sure I can fuck up your day as much as you fucked up mine.)

It's time, people. It's one of those things you can't get back. Leave my time alone, and you'll get the same respect from me.


Speaking of valuing time, the day after the company trip, I went to the TV network for the weekly creative meeting. When I got there, no one was around. Apparently, the meeting was held at some Japanese restaurant. I wasn't informed of this beforehand, and I even got chewed out for not knowing where the meeting was held. (I chose not to tell them that the person in charge of informing us about certain things conveniently forgot to message me, as she was already in trouble for other oversights.) One of the older writers took me aside and told me that this was some kind of initiation, a rite of passage for new guys like me. At the time, I was cool with it, but thinking about it, it didn't sit well with me. I mean, why would I need to go through a shitty ordeal just because I'm new? They called me to write for them. If this was a matter of earning my spot, shouldn't I be earning it by doing the job I was hired for as well I could? I'm not a fan of any sort of initiation. Why should i go through hoops just so I could be considered a part of something? It's ether you want me on board, or you don't. I should not have to be made to eat shit and like the taste. I do my job. I'll keep doing it until I am deemed no longer capable.

With that in mind, now that the luster of writing for that show has somewhat faded, I now remember why I left the TV industry several years ago. I'm not saying I'm going to quit tomorrow, but don't be surprised if I don't stick around as long as expected. It's cool and all, but if I was really made to work in a field that are veritable sluts to the audience, I would have stuck around MTV as that particular ship sank. The job's still fulfilling; just not as much as it used to when I started.

Birthday Amidst The Storm.

As a huge storm hit the South (I don't know nor care about the other places it hit), I dragged myself out of my extremely comfortable room to go and drink with Jonic and his friends/classmates to celebrate the guy's birthday. Now, I did say I was going dry, but of course, certain exceptions have to be made. It was the guy's birthday, and though we're not really as close as people might think we are, I had a feeling the storm would keep most of his guests from showing up.

The Tapa King was there, who apparently was trying to bed the McDonald's wench that hosted the Big Man's kid's birthday party. (I like the guy and all that, but if he devoted at least half of the determination and effort he puts into these meaningless affairs to his own personal and professional improvement, who knows what the guy can accomplish. But, to each his own, no matter how stupid his chosen path may be.) The GIrl Who Saved My Life was also there, along with her sister, and that was cool. I drank a lot, which resulted in me decorating the sidewalk with half digested spaghetti.

Probably it was the agreeable weather, but it was a fun night. 

The "Big" Meeting.

I was also blessed with a prospective freelance gig. ONe of the people responsible for giving me a job as a writer for a magazine about dogs and pets and shit looked me up and introduced me to people who were launching this new business and were looking for a writer. I felt really good attending that meeting, since I really do miss those days when I was freelancer extraordinaire. I felt in control. I felt optimistic. Plus, with the upcoming Hong Kong possibility, I felt like the universe was giving me a gimme. 

But then, I learned that the company was one of those network marketing stuff that sold beauty products and other similar shit, well… let's just say I gave them an offer that was easily refused. I'm not trying to be an asshole here. I just didn't agree with the values being sold, and regardless of whether or not I needed the gig, I couldn't do it. It was back to the old drawing board on that one.

Old Faces.

While all of those things are going on, I've been meeting up with Hannah and the Friendly Almost Neighbor, each asking for assistance on certain projects. Among other things, these two I worked with back in the Evil Empire. Hannah in particular, convinced me to leave my self imposed isolation and join the corporate world once more.

Those meet ups reminded me of old times, way before the drama of failed relationships and the discovery of comedy. Life was a lot simpler. I got up, went to work, got drunk, went home. Who knows, after I'm done with Hong Kong, I'm thinking I would welcome a return to the old ways.

The Third Job.

After sabotaging a freelance prospect in a not-so-subtle way, my slow loading brain bitchslapped me into remembering that I needed another source of income if I was to engage in my plan to end the year in the only appropriate way that I can think of. Fortunately, my feelings of returning to my old life, and the irrational sentimentality that came with meeting up with a couple of old friends and the solution to my frivolous financial need all came in one attractive yet mundane package: I just got a night shift online writing job in Makati. 

I was thinking about the last time I felt absolutely content in what I was doing, and I came thought about 2008. I had the same job, but in Ortigas. I wasn't happy, but I was okay. I was never in need, I was having insane weekends, and all in all, I didn't chase after anything.

So, my weeknights belong to this new company, Wednesdays to network TV, and weekends to the Think Tank or anything or anyone else who has a better offer. Yeah, that could work.

Back in the Bar.

Me, The Big Man and a few people from the Think Tank at Marbles on a stormy night can only yield good things. And they did.

A Life Less Ordinary.

I have three jobs now. I have a couple of passion projects and another movie on the horizon. I have far less people in my life than I did before, but the truth is, I've been content with dealing with everything alone. Truth is, while all of these things are going on, I've been feeling a lot of negative things and an intense amount of pressure. I wish there was someone that I could rely on during these times, but everyone who should don't really want to, everyone who's willing are not able, and those who are able, I recently discovered, are too full of themselves.

It's cool. It's my choice, hence, it's my burden. While I would appreciate the help, it's not required; all I ask is that everyone steer clear of my way. I'm rebuilding something important here, and I don't mind if I have to do it alone, brick by brick.

"I didn't think I would make it,
Thought everybody was against me
All those conquered eyes
And Christmases alone.

I never gave an honest answer
But I made a lot of angry organs.
Are we copacetic? Are we behaving now?
Filling up on endless enzymes
From other people's ugly insides

All this bitterness is starting to grow cold
Encompanies an empty evening,
Hanging onto complications
Sometimes quick sand has a massive appeal
To me

I want to be somewhere else

I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna need a
Little help to get me
Need a little help to get me.
I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna
Need a little help to get me through it
To get me through it

I always knew I had the answer
But I never understood the question
Indoor living
Lacerated to the bone

And now we've realigned the edges
I'm doing very well I thank you
All this sympathy is starting to wear me down
I wish I was someone else

I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna need a
Little help to get me
Need a little help to get me.
I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna
Need a little help to get me through it
To get me through it

I'll try to work this out
I'll try to get it on
I'll try (repeated in background after said once)

I like to tell you that I'm ready
For whatever's coming
But to be honest there's a part of me
That loses control (2x)

I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna need a
Little help to get me
Need a little help to get me.

I think I can figure it out, but I'm gonna need a
Little help to get me
Need a little help to get me.

I think I can figure it out but I'm gonna
Need a little help to get me
Need a little help to get me
Need a little help to get me

Need a little help to get me through it." - Motion City Soundtrack, "A Life Less Ordinary"

1 komento: