Linggo, Mayo 8, 2011

Normal Folk No Longer Allowed

I'm starting from scratch here. To those old time readers, think of this as a brand new season of the Sitcom. to those new readers out there, I strongly suggest you find a more entertaining blog to read. The old blogsite I used to post my rants suspended my account for some reason, but it really could have come at a better time, as my life once again has undergone those annual changes that's beyond my control.

So, here's a brand new chapter of the Badly Written Sitcom.  In HD. (And that joke right there just cost me another five regular readers.) Seriously though, I'm going to be more honest in these blogposts. 

The Premise. This show is about the trials and tribulations of a nearly thirty year old writing consultant and sometime stand up comic with constant issues of physical ad mental health problems, aggravated by the presence of diverse, quirky, and oftentimes downright annoying individuals. 

The Protagonist. For a person that's up a blog that chronicles his life, I'm a bit hesitant to write about myself. My past, I'll write about when necessary. The short version is that I've been around. One heart attack, a few vehicular accidents, countless jobs, more than a dozen failed relationships, and the regular round trip visits to hell.Right now, I make a living off telling other people how to write, despite my obvious shortcomings as a writer. What the fuck, right? Those who can, do. Those who can't, review essays.

The Supporting Cast. I've had a lot of people in my life, but there are just a few constants. There's the Big Man, a friend from high school. Married, kids, house, the whole shebang. On paper, he'd be the perfect contrast to how I've been living, but there are certain similarities that spring from knowing someone for more than half of your life. Then there's The Gadgeteer, a friend from college. He doesn't show up a lot, but when he does, shit usually goes down.

Of course, there's the current slew of people I work with, most notably The Therapist, who most recently has been helping me with the usual shit I go through. There's Jo F'n Regis, the Therapist's ex, and now close friend. He's also one of those college buddies of mine.

Others, I'll discuss when they pop up.

Setting. After being in Cavite, Makati and Ortigas for extended periods of time, I now once again call Las Pinas City my home. It's the city I've lived in the longest, even while I was studying further down South, and now I'm living alone in a shithole that I've fallen in love with. It's like a big ol' college campus for me, where I couldn't go anywhere without bumping into an old face. Whether that's a good thing or not is still undetermined.

Conflict. As mentioned, I've been going through a bunch of things. Predominantly, there's my worsening psychological state. Over the years, I've been growing steadily depressed, escalating into full blown anxiety attacks that keep me up all night. Therapy will start soon, of course. 

Then there's the stand up comedy thing. I've recently discovered comedy as my one true passion, and have been going at it steadily until the bar where I do it regularly closed down. Now, there are still gigs here or there, but I'm pursuing to ensure it becomes a steady thing, as it was one of the things that have been keeping me sane. It's no coincidence that my condition worsened once Votre, the bar  mentioned, closed down. 

And then there's the upcoming 30th birthday. The big 3-0. I originally planned on killing myself on that day (Seriously), but so far, those plans have been scratched. 

And of course, there're the usual shit one has to worry about. Relationships, rent, work and all of that.

Cue the music. So, that's my life right now. While things have drastically changed from my days as the happiest dude on campus, but what can one do. I'm legitimately scared, and mostly alone, and I rarely even drink anymore. Worst. Sitcom. Ever.

"The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down"
It's all in your mind
Well, now I'm back at home and
I'm looking forward to this life I live
You know it's gonna haunt me
So hesitation to this life I give
You think you might cross over
You're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea
You better look it over
Before you make that leap
And you know I'm fine
But I hear those voices at night
Sometimes they justify my claim" - The Killers, "Spaceman"

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